Background: To give some context Nick bought his car brand new about five years ago and has put about 70,000 miles on the vehicle. Since purchasing the vehicle he has never had an oil change nor does he do any kind of regular maintenance. I would like to clarify by saying Nick's refusal to maintain his vehicle is not due to any kind of financial insecurity, Nick has an incredible job that pays him very fairly.As a hobby and side job, I like to restore vehicles for a profit, I am by no means a mechanic I mostly clean up the vehicles, do bodywork and paint restoration. However, I do have a pretty fundamental understanding of cars and I know how to do the basics.
OP, as a fellow woman who loves cars, I ask you to strongly consider what you want out of your relationship. Your knowledge of cars, and how it helped you bond with his father, is a breeding ground for resentment.
172 Cars To Gearhead Garage Rar
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I can't tell you how many times women of all ages said how guys must love my passion for cars, and how eligible suitors must be lining up. Whenever any guy a bit older than me found out I did the work on my car myself, more often than not, they'd ask if my father didn't have a son. You know, since the only way we would get into cars was if our father forced it on us. Both versions reinforce that cars are man's domain.
Cars are still commonly thought of as something guys intrinsically know. If they don't, some asshole will give them shit. If they have a girlfriend that knows her way around cars, now the assholes will say how he must be the girl in the relationship, needing help like a damsel in distress. As much as I wish it didn't, that kind of thing can get to some guys. All too often they end up taking it out on the relationship.
OP, you deserve someone who will see your skills as a wonderful piece of who you are as a whole. I got lucky and married a Master Tech I first met when he joined the car club my friends and I started. He loved telling his coworkers I loved cars even more than him. I'm not saying you have to find someone in the car industry. I think you should have someone that will happily speak highly of your skills though.
Find what interests you about them, and incline yourself towards following that. The world of cars is ridiculously indepth and can get very complicated, so finding what little slice of that world appeals to you the most will keep you wanting to research and learn more. This can be as simple as following a car youtuber you like or watching "car TV shows" like Top Gear or Initial D, just whatever keeps your interest up as you're getting into it without seeming to bombard you with info you don't find as appealing.
Build up a bit of a social circle of car people you can ask questions to and bounce ideas. Car people in general love to talk about cars, so the more you can get them to talk about them the more information you'll absorb. Social media platforms can also be good for this as well. (This part I believe is actually quite crucial, as I think part of the reason so many have absolutely no idea about cars is because they're not around anyone else that does have an idea)
Research. There's so much information out there, any question you could possibly ask about cars has been asked many times over. Read articles, read wiki pages, watch youtube, this is where you'll start to build up the bulk of your knowledge.
I wish I have had anyone to teach me, well, anything about cars. The amount of mechanics around here that try to fool woman when it comes to fixing their cars is ridiculous. I forgot my lights and radion on in my old car once, the battery died and I needed someone to jump start it. I called a place literally one block over that both fixed cars and sold parts. The men I talked to said that nowadays no one does that, I had to buy a new one entirely. Yeah right. Luckily I found out my insurance allowed me to ask for help twice a year with this issue. The guy that came to help me out was furious with the other mechanic, and from then onwards would give me a hand whenever I needed. When my spare tire was stolen, he found a place that sold new ones with a reasonable price. When I got there, they first tried to sell me the same one at a way higher price. I mentioned my contact and all of the sudden the price dropped to what I was told. It is ridicoulous. I would always pay my contact a part of what I saved and I recommended him to every woman I know, but I hate that it came to this.
if you like to work on cars, then you won't want to be with someone that's that cavalier about car repair and maintenance. And that's unforgivable of him to insult you like that with the "pink tools" comment.
My cousin is the only female in the garage she works at and everyone thinks the hot pink tools that have sexy bitch written all over them are hers. They are in fact her 60 year old male bosses. He's never had a problem with them going missing
RIGHT? Look I'm a woman, I hate cars, I drive because I have to and I can't even distinguish car brands and EVEN I KNOW THAT YOU MUST KEEP UP WITH A CAR MAINTENANCE. If he doesn't like it, he can just do like I do, have a trusty mechanic that can check up on the car for you and make sure it's safe. Mine even gives me a little notebook with dates on when I should do things like change oils or filters!
My dad recently got a 1948 Alvis Tickford TA14 in almost perfect condition. A part of the manifold gasket was broken and we fixed it together. I've always loved classic cars but being old enough to actually drive one and being on its insurance has given me a whole new appreciation for them
I am going to say, I am so jealous that you are so mechanically inclined! My MIL has an old Pontiac (like, 1967, but I don't know the model), and she's promised it me (my husband and his brother don't like working on cars). Only problem is I am not completely mechanically inclined and I wanna fix it up.so badly!
A 1967 Pontiac is a great car to learn on too. All those old cars are really quite simple. I am rebuilding a 1966 Mustang and you can learn basically everything from the internet. Find message forums for your type of car, watch YouTube vids and dive right in!
Your boyfriend is a sexist AH. He doesn't want to listen to you about his car because he doesn't believe women can know more about cars and it hurts his fragile blue ego that you do know more than him. He feels emasculated when you tell him what to do with his car. No other reason to comment on "pink tools".
As a woman who is also a gearhead.. I suggest you take your "pink tools" and I mean all of them, and move on with your life. Those comments are uncalled for and are also red flags for a mess of problems down the road. He obviously doesn't care about his safety or yours since he doesn't care to upkeep his car maintenance which should already be something you should have a concern for. Clearly has mommy issues for saying the mothering comment as well. NTA.
I don't understand his attitude. I can understand not wanting to learn how to fix something yourself - hell, that's how I feel about cars, that's why I pay people to fix them for me. And I can understand being too lazy to properly maintain something (although that's stupid). But I can't understand why you wouldn't listen to the judgment of someone you know for a fact knows more about the situation than you do.
Never an oil change? Poor car. Irrelevant. BF appears to have a habit of failing to care for valuables like new cars and girlfriends who can double as a mechanic. I think I'd walk my little pink tools right out of that relationship.
You know how to fix cars as a hobby and he's condescending towards your skills when he asked for your help? You're definitely NTA. Sounds to me like you were being helpful and told him about a serious safety issue. You're right; he should have called a tow truck when you explained the rather serious issue.
Even as someone who knows NOTHING about cars I know they need to be cared for, mostly because my Dad always instilled the idea that a car works just like a human body- if it's injured, it won't operate correctly. xD
NTA, but why do you want to be with someone who a) calls you for help basednon your skill set, but then refuses to believe you based on your knowledge in that skills set and picks a fight, and b) cannot manage to take care of possessions needed to function in daily life? Being willfully neglectful of a vehicle is not a great sign of how he will be to other things. You can do better OP. Tell him you aren't going to be apologizing, and are instead moving on to someone who respects you and their cars.
He didn't make me change the oil myself or anything, I just had to keep track of when it was due. This was back before cars had a "oil change" light. I had to let him know when the car reached 8,000 miles past its last oil change. That's it. He did the change himself.
NTA! When my car was misfiring, I told my husband. (I grew up around guys that worked on cars. So I know more than most women.) He said that he didn't hear/feel anything wrong. Which is BS because I had no power and you could definitely hear it. I'm driving, he's in the passenger seat and we have his guy friend in back seat. His friend says, Sounds like the car is misfiring. Husband says, Yeah, I'll have to check that out. Now it's real because a person with a penis said it. Ugh. 2ff7e9595c
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